I Need You
by SweetDreams1318
Summary: Clarke needs Bellamy now more than ever, but will she break and ask for it? Will Bellamy be there when she needs him to be? What happens when Clarke sleeps with Bellamy to forget the terrible thing that happened to her in the woods? Will Bellamy forgive her or will he feel used and end up hating her? *I'm better at writing stories than summaries* {Rated M for rape/sex scene(s)}
1. Chapter 1

**I Need You.**

 **Chapter 1**

[I do not own The 100 or any of the characters, all credit goes to The CW and Kass Morgan. I hope you all enjoy. This is still set in the beginning, where they all landed and have been living on the ground for months, almost a year, Winter comes in the next coming chapters.]

I don't know what he's thinking half of the time and that's what bothers me, maybe even more

than his arrogance. My eyebrows pressed downward as I glared at him, but he just stood there with his

hands out, and that smirk on his face. " _Bellamy, I said we need to go this way if we want to find the_

 _herbs Monty said to look for._ " I said pointing to the left, but he wanted to keep going straight. " _No,_

 _princess, we need to go this way, we've been doing good staying away from the Grounders, let's keep it_

 _that way._ " I let out a sigh at his words, he's being too cautious, and that's not going to help us find these

herbs any faster. " _Look, why don't we just split up and agree to meet back here when the sun drops over_

 _the tree tops?_ " I shrug. He looks like he's about to yell when he just sighs and shakes his head. " _Splitting_

 _up would be a terrible idea._ " I put my hands on my hips and raise an eyebrow at him. " _Well the longer_

 _we argue about this, the longer it's going to take to get back to camp._ " I was getting so frustrated, our

people needed these herbs to make so many medicines. " _I think we need to stay together, there are so_

 _many things that could go wrong with your plan._ " I rolled my eyes. " _Like what Bellamy?_ " He began

pointing out that one of us could get back to our rendezvous point and think the other already left and

we'd miss each other at the spot, one of us could get hurt and have no back up, and on and on. I held up

my hand to stop him. " _Here, give me your extra knife._ " He looked confused for a moment but then

handed over his knife. " _I'll hold on to this, and if I get back before you, I'll drive it into this tree, and if you_

 _see the knife, and not me, that means something happened to me._ " I said now crossing my arms across

my chest. He looked frustrated while thinking about the plan, but he just sighed and nodded. " _Alright_

 _princess, it's a plan, but, you'd better be standing there with that knife in that tree when I get back._ " He

said pointing to the tree. " _You'll do the same too, won't you?_ " I asked. He nodded in response and we

gave each other one last look before we took our separate ways. I could feel his eyes linger on my back

as I pushed past the low hanging branches of the trees. I was hot and sweaty after walking what seemed

like forever, my feet were sore and pulsing. I have to say I was relieved to come at an end to the woods

and out onto an open pebble beach next to a river. I collapsed to my knees at the river's edge, I began

scooping water out with my hands and splashing the water on my face. The cool water was so

welcomed, I did it a few more times, over my hair and I took off my boots to dip my feet in the running

water. I let out a moan of pleasure as the heat I was feeling for so long was finally gone, and replaced by

a relaxing cool. I kept my gun close to my side as I leaned my head back to enjoy this moment, and I

almost missed the leaves of something waving under the water, a few inches from my toes. I sat up and

leaned closer to see what they were, I reached out and pulled some from their roots. I examined the

leaves and they looked to be some of what Monty was talking about. I stuffed them into my pack after

shaking off their water. I figured it was time to move on, I was well cooled off by now and I had to go

back to the woods to search for the other herbs. I used one of my cloths in my pack to dry off my feet

faster and put them back into my boots. Once I was ready to go, I stood and jogged back up to the

woods. I broke through the brush of leaves and started to make my way back the way I had come, I dug

up some dirt with my feet when I walked to make a semi-trail. When I looked to my left there was a

small opening in the leaves. I pushed through and smiled huge when I found a small clearing with a

bunch of flowers and herbs. I climbed through the leaves and I picked up every flower and herb leaves I

could find. Stuffing the pack until it almost couldn't close, I felt satisfied that I had enough, and I'm sure I

grabbed every flower and herb from that field. I was feeling proud of myself as I followed my trail back

to the tree where Bellamy and I were supposed to meet. His knife wasn't in the tree and he wasn't near

so I figured he was still out or on his way back, it was still earlier than what we had planned so I dug the

knife into the tree and slid down it, waiting. I had my eyes looking out at the path he had taken, I felt

anxious when after a few minutes I still didn't see or hear him. I stood up and brushed off my pants, I

thought I heard him when some twigs snapped, but then I realized they were from behind me. I turned

to see a Grounder and before I could even grab my gun, something had hit me on the back of the head. I

fell face first to the ground and the world went dark. I woke up to a sharp pain pulsing in the back of my

head. When I opened my eyes, the sun was close to setting, the sky was lit up in oranges and pinks of all

shades. I realized I couldn't move when I tried to tend to the spot on my head that was hurting. My

hands were bound to a giant tree, and then I remembered Bellamy was still out there, oh god, what if

this Grounder had already killed Bellamy!? I shook away the thought, no, Bellamy was stronger than

that, and he would have won that fight. I looked around to take in my surroundings, there was a small

campfire about fifteen feet away from me. My feet were bound as well, and I left my knife in the tree,

that would make escaping so much more difficult. But maybe if Bellamy gets to the tree and sees the

knife and my bag that I left behind, maybe he'll find me! I heard rustling sounds approaching the

campfire but my excitement was gone when two Grounders came through the bushes. I recognized the

one who I turned to see behind me, the other must have been the one who hit me. If there were two of

them, Bellamy would have had less of a chance to win or even escape, and the thought of that made me

sick to my stomach. They were talking to each other in their language, but they were nodding and

gesturing towards me. If they are going to kill me, I don't know how they plan on doing it, my thoughts

were brought elsewhere when I saw the second one holding my pack. No not the herbs! I was trying to

rub the ropes loose very stealthily while they talked. One of them grunted and came over to me, I

turned my head and closed my eyes, stopping all of my movement. The second one dropped my bag by

the fire and came over to join the first one, the one I recognized by his masked face. He pulled out a

knife and my heart race picked up. " _No, please don't kill me!_ " I found myself begging, and I couldn't help

it, it was true, I didn't want to die. " _Shut up, golden hair!_ " The second one shouted gruffly at me. I pulled

on my ropes but they just laughed. The one with the mask put the knife up to my neck, I started to

shake. He put the tip of the blade under my shirt and pulled it down, my shirt ripped open completely

and only hung on by the straps of the tank top. My bra was revealed and it hit me to what they really

wanted. That would be so much worse than death, and I started to plead with them, trying to find

something. " _Please don't, don't do this to me!_ " The one without the mask had hit me in the face, I was

looking at the ground when the masked one stuck the knife under my bra and ripped the front open. I

pulled hard on my hands, my fingers started to tingle with numbness as I tried my hardest to get out of

this situation. With my breasts free and exposed for them to see, I saw them start to become aroused.

" _No no no no, please!_ " I cried out. The one with the mask took a step closer to me and he reached out

and cupped one of my breasts with his hand. I shook my head when he started to run his thumb over my

nipple and played with it. " _Stop!_ " The one without the mask hit me again, this time successfully splitting

my lip, I could feel the blood dripping down my lip to my chin. The masked one released my breast and

he started to unbutton my pants, and panic set in. I struggled with him, squeezing my legs together and

squirming every chance I got. He nodded his head at me and towards the other grounder, who nodded

and came over grabbing my legs, stopping me from moving. The masked grounder successfully removed

my pants down to my ankles and he tore open my underwear as fast as he did my bra. The fabric fell

away and now I was completely exposed. The masked grounder took all of the sight of me in, and he

started to remove his own clothing. " _No, please just leave me here, walk away, please!_ " But he didn't

care what I had to say. My eyes widened when I saw his erection spring free from his pants, and he

became more aggressive as he slid me down the pole and pulled my legs out from under me. My butt

had landed hard on the dirt, he dropped down onto his knees as he pulled me towards him and spread

my legs. " _No!_ " I screamed out into the woods, and my thoughts turned to Bellamy. " _Help, help me!_ " I

screamed out once more as the masked grounder shoved himself into me. I had never done this before,

and I could feel myself stretching out to his size, but he didn't give me time to adjust, he just kept

thrusting himself into me. I screamed out in pain as he barely fit himself into me, but he continued

pounding hard, there was nothing I could do. I just kept screaming, but at this point I wasn't sure if I

even wanted Bellamy to find me like this. The grounder groaned out as he released himself inside of me,

I could feel the hot liquid fill me. He pulled himself out and pulled his pants back up and let his friend

take a turn. " _No more, please!_ " I said hoarsely, my throat was so sore from screaming. But the second

grounder shoved himself into me, the cum from the first grounder was being pushed deeper inside of

me and when it could go nowhere else, I could feel it trickle out past this grounder. " _Stop!_ " I fought and

squirmed, my muscles were sore, I was so weak, but this had to come to an end. But the assault on my

body continued, the second Grounder came inside of me as well, his fluids mixing with the other ones,

and I felt myself become nauseated. They both took turns over and over, to the point where I had lost

myself in thoughts, to get away. Bellamy's face somehow ended up in my thoughts as I was bringing

myself away, mentally, from this situation. His trademark smirk on his lips, it brought a smile to mine,

but my bubble was burst when my body was dropped down onto the ground. I opened my eyes and

then I heard a gunshot. Bellamy! Oh god no, not him, he can't see me like this! I saw the unmasked

Grounder on the ground with a bullet hole through his head, and the masked one had fled. The knife

was close to my feet, it was in the hand of the dead Grounder. I heard footsteps coming and his deep

voice calling my name. " _Clarke?!_ " I didn't say anything, he'd follow the light and smell from the fire. I

focused on getting the knife, but I didn't get to it in time before Bellamy came pushing through the

bushes. When his eyes fell on me, he was at my side in an instant as he grabbed the knife and undone

my bound hands. I covered my breasts and pulled my legs up to my chest as Bellamy cut the ropes

around my ankles. Bellamy said nothing as he threw his jacket over me, his mouth was a hard line, and I

brought myself to look at his eyes. They were sad, big and brown, they looked so concerned, and then

his lips moved. " _What?_ " I asked, feeling almost completely numb. " _I'm sorry._ " I nodded my head and I

rested my head on his shoulder and let myself break. Tears ran down my cheeks in streams, and he just

put his arms around me in a warm embrace.

[Whew this was a long one, I hope you all enjoyed and look forward to my next chapters, and remember, please Review! :)]


	2. Chapter 2

**I Need You.**

 **Chapter 2**

 **[** **[Thank you guys so much for some follows and favorites, some reviews would be great too! It helps me connect with you guys as my readers, so if you could, please review? Thank you!] *In my version of the story, Clarke and Finn didn't sleep together.***

After Bellamy had found me, I didn't know what to say to him after I had broken down on him the way I

did. I was embarrassed he had to see me like that, but he never brought it up again, even during the

long walk back to camp while he carried both his pack and mine, both of our guns and me. He stopped

at the gates as they opened and then he walked me inside, directly past everyone and straight into his

tent. He laid me down on his cot and covered me with his blankets as Jasper and Monty came through

the opening. " _Hey guys, she needs some personal space right now._ " Bellamy said holding up his hands to

prevent them from coming in any further. They looked around him, the confusion in their eyes was very

clear. " _Monty, the herbs are in my pack over there, take them and please let me know what you find out_

 _from them._ " I said just above a whisper. " _What happened Clarke?_ " Monty asked still trying to see me,

but I just rolled over and faced the wall of the tent. " _Another time, Monty._ " I said as I heard Bellamy pick

up my pack and hand it to Monty. He shoved them out through the opening and closed it again before

he came over to me and sat down on the space behind me on the cot. " _Clarke…_ " His tone of voice was

sad. " _Bellamy, please, don't say anything…ever._ " I turned to look at him, holding the blanket over my

still bare chest. " _Of course, you can trust me._ " His smile lit up his face, which became contagious and

spread to mine. " _You keep proving that to me every day._ " I said as I saw the smile grow. " _We need to get_

 _something for your lip._ " Bellamy said as he reached out instinctively to touch my cut, and once his

thumb traced over it, I could feel heat flood through my body. He pulls away suddenly and stands up, he

looks a little thrown off when he looks at me again. " _I'll go get Monty for some medicine._ " He says

before leaving the tent. I relax and turn to face the wall of the tent again and when I close my eyes all I

can see are the Grounders. When I hear someone push through the entrance to the tent I turn expecting

to see Bellamy, instead it's Finn. I glare at him when he comes through and stops close to the cot to

stare at me. " _Oh my God Clarke!_ " He said coming to my side at the cot and he automatically touches my

hair. I push him away slightly and shake my head, he's already chosen Raven, and he's made it clearly

obvious. " _What happened?_ " He asked as he tried to touch me once more, so I just closed my eyes as he

touched my forehead. I missed his touch, because when we were sort of together, I guess I could call it

that, well, when we were together, he was so sweet and always put me first. " _She's had enough visitor's_

 _today._ " I turned to see Bellamy, his voice broke the silence and I felt a little guilty, though I don't know

why. Finn stood up and approached Bellamy, " _what happened to her, where were you?_ " he asked

pointing at Bellamy. " _Finn, leave it alone._ " I said sitting up a little more. " _I don't have to explain anything_

 _to you 'space walker', now leave my tent._ " Bellamy said, his voice was low yet commanding, and I felt

myself become slightly aroused when I heard it. I shook that feeling from my brain as I watched Finn

give me a look before leaving the tent. Bellamy came over and held out some green paste, he started to

put a little on my lip. " _Monty says this stuff isn't toxic, so if you accidentally get any of it in your mouth,_

 _you will be fine._ " He said as he was focused, I felt a giggle come up from me, which caused an eyebrow

raise from Bellamy. I couldn't help myself, he was doing a good job of playing nurse, but of course I

couldn't tell him that. " _Something funny, princess?_ " He asked as he set the bowl of paste on the wooden

stand next to his bed. " _No, sorry, it's just stress._ " He nodded, his lips returned to a straight tight line, like

he was considering something. " _What's wrong?_ " I asked. " _If I had found you sooner…_ " His voice trailed

off. " _No, don't think like that Bellamy, you got to me as fast as you could have._ " I said putting my hand

over one of his. " _If I had just gotten to that damn tree sooner._ " He growled. " _Stop, Bellamy, okay, it's not_

 _your fault this happened to me, if anything, it's mine, I was the one stupid enough to think it was a good_

 _idea to separate._ " His eyes lifted to mine, they were slightly wet, I could see tears sitting in the bottom

edge of his eyes. " _Bell, it's okay, I'm okay…please?_ " I asked as I tried to reassure him. He blinked the

tears away and shook his head, standing and pulling himself away from me. " _Yeah, uh…you're right, I'm_

 _going to let you sleep, I'll be outside if you need me, just holler._ " He said as he got away quickly. I laid my

head back down and pulled the covers up. When I realized, after about an hour, that I really did have

privacy, I gave myself an exam. Of course I was bleeding because it was my first time, and they were

anything but gentle. Pregnancy shouldn't be an issue since the contraceptive implant is still good, so I

am fine, physically. I lay back down once more and I turn to look at the entrance of the tent, and when

the light from the fire is large enough, I can see the outline of Bellamy sitting right outside of the tent. A

smile comes to my lips, and I feel safe again. I roll over and close my eyes, I need to get myself back

together if I'm going to take care of our people. I drifted off slowly, and my dreams had drifted to

Bellamy, his smile, his freckles on his tan skin, his dark curls. The dreams started to go dark though, after

Bellamy's face had faded, I was tied to the tree once more, and the Grounders were taking turns,

roughly attacking my body with their own, I was screaming for help and shaking my head, tears

streaming down my face. " _Clarke! Clarke!_ " Bellamy's voice broke through to me, and I opened my eyes,

jerking my body upwards to a sitting position, I was shaking. Bellamy's face came into focus, his eyes

were wide as he had his hands gripped tightly to my arms. " _Bellamy?_ " My voice was hoarse again, I must

have been screaming out loud. I felt suddenly embarrassed, but the look on Bellamy's face was pure

terror, I've never seen that look on his face before, except maybe when Octavia was in danger. " _You_

 _were screaming pretty loud princess, I'm pretty sure the whole camp heard you._ " He said as he looked at

me up and down to make sure I was okay. " _Here, you need more medicine for your lip._ " He said as he

pulled the bowl from the stand and put more on my lip. " _Where is everyone?_ " I asked looking at the

empty tent. " _Well I made sure they stayed away, for your privacy._ " He said as he focused himself on

putting the medicine on my lip. " _Thank you._ " He looked at me now. " _For what?_ " He put the bowl back

down and wiped his hands on his jeans. " _For everything._ " His eyes darkened as he understood what

everything meant. " _Always._ " He said as he stood up and covered me back up. " _Get a little more sleep,_

 _you have time._ " But I didn't feel tired anymore, I sat up and he looked at me. " _Could you get me some of_

 _my own clothes Bellamy? I think it's time you rested._ " He opened his mouth to argue but I frowned and

made it a point to cover my bare breasts so he got the point. " _Right, clothes…be right back._ " He ducked

out of the tent and I sighed. He came back with some clothes and a cup of water, he set the water on

the stand and the clothes on the bed and left without a word. I pulled myself up to the side of the bed

and found a pair of underwear shoved under the pants. I smiled to myself thinking of Bellamy

embarrassed and hid these so no one could see. They were just underwear but he acted so silly when it

came to my private things, like the time he found my bra hanging just in the back of the drop ship to air

dry. His face had turned as red as a tomato, and he shielded his eyes as he stammered to find his words

when he told me to take it down. I used the left over cloth from my ripped tank top and poured some of

the water onto it and cleaned myself up, the dried blood, semen and dirt. I then put on my underwear,

bra and the rest of my clothes, it felt so good to be fully dressed again, like nothing had happened at all.

I drank the rest of the water, and then I pulled the blood stained blanket I had been laying on and rolled

it up. I put it by the entrance so I could grab it when I left, I put another in its place and called for

Bellamy. He came in instantly and looked confused when he saw me holding open the blanket for him to

get into his bed. " _What's this?_ " He asked pointing at the bed that was made again. " _It's your turn to_

 _sleep Bellamy, you've watched out for me long enough, now it's my turn to do the same for you._ " He

shook his head. " _I don't need the rest Clarke, you do._ " I sighed, I knew he would put up a fight. " _Bellamy,_

 _get into this bed, or I will go get something to help you sleep._ " He looked appalled as he took a step

back. " _Are you threatening to drug me?_ " He laughed slightly now. " _Please Bellamy just do this for me?_ " I

said tossing back the blanket so he could climb in. " _Fine, you win, I'll lay down._ " He said as he pulled off

his boots and climbed into the cot. I threw the blanket over him and I grabbed the blanket as I stopped

by the door. " _Sleep well Bellamy._ " He grumbled and I smiled to myself as I left his tent. I hadn't realized

all the stares I would be getting, I forgot the state I was in when Bellamy had brought me home. I made

my way to the dropship and I threw the blanket in the little closet storage, I was going to have to wash

that privately so no one would question me about it. Monty's arms wrapped around me in a hug when I

turned around. " _I was so worried Clarke!_ " He said as he pulled away and Jasper took over in a hug.

" _Yeah, Bellamy wouldn't tell us anything._ " Jasper said as he pulled away too and stood by Monty. " _It was_

 _just a grounder attack._ " It was the best way I could explain it without lying and without saying too much.

They nodded, and they looked sad, so I just walked forward and put my hands on each of their shoulders

and led them to the ladder of the dropship. " _Show me to these herbs, I'd like to know what is what._ " I

smiled and they smiled back, and they led me up to the top.

 **[That's the end of Chapter 2, I hope you liked it and remember, please review! Thank you! Xoxo]**


	3. Chapter 3

**[So Chapter 3 is here, I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please remember to review, it does mean a lot to me!] *Sex warning***

It's been a week since the incident with the grounders, and I still get night terrors, if it weren't

for Bellamy being there when I woke up, to talk me down and comfort me, I don't know how I would

deal with this. Lately I find myself thinking about him all the time, even when I should be focused on

other things. The two good things that came from the grounder attack were, Bellamy and I were closer

as friends and as people, and Monty said all of the herbs I collected were needed for medicine! He said

that the roots from the river were by far the best I could grab and I wanted to go get more, that and

search for some more supplies to build shelters against the Winter that was coming. The weather was

getting colder and the trees have shed all of their leaves. I was in the dropship with Monty, Jasper, Finn

and Raven, we were taking about the trip I wanted to take. " _This trip is very important, even if it's half_

 _successful and I find more water roots that will be enough for me._ " I say as I defend myself to the group.

" _I just don't think it's a good idea for you to go out so soon._ " Finn says softly as he looks at me with his

eyes sad. " _I agree with Finn, I think you should stay a few more days._ " Monty says nodding. " _You guys_

 _are nuts, she says she's fine and I believe her._ " Raven shakes her head with her arms folded across her

chest. Before Jasper could say anything, Bellamy walked through the flap of the dropship's makeshift

door. " _What's going on?_ " He asked as he walked closer and assessing the situation. " _I'm trying to get_

 _them to see why it's a good idea I go back out and-_." Bellamy interrupts me, " _no, absolutely not, do you_

 _not remember last night when you woke up screaming again?_ " His tone was chastising. I looked at my

feet and then picked my head back up to look him in the eyes. " _I do remember last night, but you were_

 _there…and you'll be with me this time._ " They all turned to look from Bellamy to me. " _What?_ " Monty

asked. " _Alright._ " Raven and Jasper both said in unison. " _I don't think that's a good idea…maybe I should_

 _go with you instead._ " Finn finished up the responses. Raven gave him a glare, as did Bellamy when he

stepped forward next to me. " _We'll need more than two of us to get all that I want to get though._ " I said

as I looked up at him. " _Raven, Finn, you'll come with us._ " Bellamy said decisively. " _How come?_ " Raven

asked raising an eyebrow. " _Because Finn is a good tracker, and we could use him if we find some animal_

 _tracks, we can get some good food, and since you two are together, I figured you would want to come as_

 _well._ " Bellamy said shrugging. " _Fine, we'll meet you at the gate._ " Raven said as she dragged Finn out of

the dropship. I looked up at Bellamy, he looked down at me and gave me a smile, and it made my heart

jump. " _Better go get ready and grab a good amount of supplies._ " He said as he turned and left the

dropship. Monty and Jasper stood waiting for me to say something, I just smiled at the pair. " _I'll get_

 _these water roots for you, is there anything else you'd like me to keep an eye out for?_ " I asked Monty,

and he looked at Jasper. " _Nothing that we can think of, just those water roots, and cloth if you can find_

 _it, we'll need more for bandages._ " Monty said. I nodded at them and they smiled back as I left the

dropship and headed for my tent. Once inside I grabbed my bigger pack, grabbed a few pieces of ripped

cloth to use for bandages, and headed out to where we stored our food and water. I grabbed an empty

cup for water, and a few bags of nuts and berries. I headed over to the gate where Finn and Raven

where already waiting. " _Do you have everything you need?_ " Raven asked as Bellamy jogged up next to

me and handed me my gun. " _Now she does._ " He said smiling. I put the gun around my shoulder and

smiled down at my feet as the gates were opened for us. Once they were opened I saw the trees, the

outside, and I started to feel panicked. I shook my head and reminded myself that this was for our

people, we needed better shelters and medicine. Bellamy stayed close to me, while Raven and Finn

covered the rear of our group. We all had guns which made me feel safer, and that we had more people

this time. " _Alright Clarke, you need to lead the way, take us to where you found those roots._ " Bellamy

said gesturing ahead as we walked. " _Alright, well once we are at the meet up tree, I'll know where we're_

 _going._ " I pressed my lips together as Bellamy nodded and looked at me, understanding what I meant.

We walked a good half hour, I kept track by looking at my watch every now and then. We came across

the tree, and it still had my knife in it. Bellamy grabbed it and pulled it out, he put it back in his pocket

and looked at me again. His eyes were big and brown, they were sad but I didn't know what to say. I

pointed to the path I had taken a week ago. " _Follow me._ " I waved them along as I pushed through the

low hanging branches once more. I was relieved when we finally came out onto the pebble beach, and

everyone was excited. " _Finally!_ " Raven said as she ran to the river and quickly removed her boots, pants

and shirt. Finn ran after her, Bellamy laughed and I just sighed, this isn't what we are here for. " _Lighten_

 _up princess, this is the first running water source we've found in a while._ " Bellamy said as he started

walking a little faster. Raven was in the water cleaning herself off, Finn shortly joined her, and when

they started kissing, I had to move further down the river. My eyes were peeled on the woods that lined

both sides of us. There was still one grounder out there who had attacked me, and luckily I know what

he looks like. I found my old spot where I gathered the roots and I started to take off my boots,

hopefully I could grab a little more this time. I rolled up my pants and waded out into the water, I was

able to grab a fistful before I felt the hairs on my arms stand up. I stood up straight and slowly ran my

eyes through the trees. That's when I spotted them, about six or seven grounders across the river right

on the edge, their weapon's drawn. I couldn't make out the faces, but I wasn't going to get a closer look

to make sure my rapist wasn't one of them. " _GROUNDERS!_ " I screamed as I ran for my weapon back on

the rocky shore. Bellamy instantly pulled his weapon and aimed it at the trees as he ran towards me.

Raven and Finn were almost on shore when arrows rained down, it missed them but it was close.

Bellamy grabbed my arm and pulled me back towards the tree line on our side, I was able to grab my

pack and one boot before I was whisked out of firing range. " _Damn it, my other boot!_ " I shouted as we

made it through the bushes and tree branches. Finn and Raven had ran through the brush at least half a

mile down the river. " _We'll have to find them after this._ " I said as I aimed my gun through the trees at

the grounders. Bellamy picked off three, before they retreated back into the woods on the other side of

the river. I don't know what came over me, but I ran back out, not for my boot, but towards the dead of

the grounders. " _Clarke!_ " Bellamy yelled as I ran from his side. " _What the hell are you doing?_ " He caught

up to me as he had his gun aimed and ready. Once I got to the water I pushed myself through and

flipped over the bodies to check their faces. I started to cry, as I fell backwards onto the shore and

Bellamy put his hand on my shoulder. " _What's wrong?_ " He asked once he was sure the grounders had

ran. " _He's not here._ " I managed out between my sobs. " _Who's not here?_ " He asked as he tightened his

grip on my shoulder. " _The unmasked grounder, the other one who r-raped me._ " I said as I wrapped my

arms around myself and I felt Bellamy pull me onto his chest. " _I'm sorry Clarke…we'll find him, I didn't_

 _even know you were looking for him._ " He said into my hair as he just held me. " _I can't keep doing this,_

 _feeling so broken every time I don't see him in a group of dead grounders…_ " I said as I wiped my tears

away. " _You'll get better Clarke, eventually he will be one of the dead._ " Bellamy said as I looked up at him.

I don't know what happened to me, whether it was the stress or my crazy brain but, I kissed Bellamy. I

pressed my lips to his and for a second, everything felt right. He pulled away and looked at me, his eyes

were confused swirling with something else I couldn't place. " _Clarke, what are you doing?_ " He asked as

he stood up and stood me up too. I pulled him back through the brush and trees at the edge of the

beach. I pushed him through a thicket of leaves and he fell backwards taking me with him. " _What the_

 _hell?_ " He asked frustrated. I kissed him again, putting all I had into it, I ran my hand up under his shirt

and kept my mouth on his so he couldn't protest. He turned his head away from me and his eyes were

dark. " _Clarke…_ " He warned. " _Please Bellamy, I need this._ " I pleaded with him. He looked my face over

and then nodded as he brought my face to his and he kissed me back. I let his tongue in when I felt him

press it against my lips. I felt him buck his hips underneath me as I pressed my hips towards his, and he

let a groan escape his lips. I pulled my shirt over my head and I started to unbutton my pants when he

took off his shirt as well. Once we were both down to our underwear, I looked over his body, I became

aroused at the sight of him. His muscles were toned and flexed as he sat up to put his hands around my

waist. He kissed my neck and started to trail kisses down to my chest, he stopped and looked up at me.

" _Is this okay?_ " His voice was deep and husky. I nodded and he continued his kisses, once he got his lips

to my bra, he used his fingers to pull down my underwear. I leaned up off him slightly so he could pull

them off completely. I looked down to his pants where I saw him hard right behind his zipper. I smiled

and pulled his pants down as well, and my mouth dropped when I saw him. My breathing quickened as

he smiled at me. I leaned down and kissed him once more as he lifted me by my waist and lowered me

onto him slowly. " _Ah!_ " I let a whimper escape my lips and he paused, holding me still. " _You okay?_ " He

asked, his face etched in concern. " _Yes, keep going._ " I said as I could feel him slowly lower me fully onto

him and waited while I stretched and adjusted to his size. He slowly started rocking me, he held onto my

waist firmly. He tiled his head back as he groaned through clenched teeth, I started to move quicker,

tilting my hips forward and back. I could feel him slide me halfway off of him and slid me back on. He

pulled me forward into a kiss and I could feel him thrust himself back into me. I moaned into the kiss as

he continued the slow torturous thrusts. " _Quicker, Bellamy please._ " I moaned out, and I felt him quicken

his pace. I leaned back up into a sitting position, so he could get deeper, his hands made their way up to

my chest as he pulled the bra up and grabbed my breasts. This felt good, and I didn't think of the

horrible thing that happened before. As I was doing this with Bellamy, I was replacing it with an even

better experience. " _Cum for me Clarke._ " I heard him growl out below me, I realized I was holding myself

back. He held out his hands for me and I took them and laced our fingers together while I rode him. He

held me up and supported me, as I felt myself come to the edge. " _Bellamy!_ " I moaned out his name as I

came, I felt myself pulse around him and he tightened his hold on my hands as I felt him cum into me. It

felt hot as he filled me, and I felt his cum mix with mine as it trickled down my thighs slowly. I slowed my

movement and then stopped as I looked down at him and kissed his lips. I moved my hair from my face

as he looked at me, his eyes were dark still as he finally released my hands. I climbed up off of him and

grabbed my pants and got dressed. " _That was...amazing Bellamy, thank you._ " I said as I finished putting

my pants on. " _Clarke…are you sure we did the right thing?_ " He seemed so sure when we started, I was

thrown off by his uncertainty now. He was fully dressed and picking up his gun when I came up to him

and took his hand. " _Yes Bellamy, this was the right thing, I needed this, I told you that._ " He handed me

my gun and my pack. " _But right now?_ " He asked raising an eyebrow. " _Yes, I needed to get rid of the bad_

 _memory that haunted me._ " His mouth turned into a frown as he clenched his jaw. " _So…what…what was_

 _this, what was I, just some eraser for you to wipe your sexual memory clean?_ " He demanded. " _No, I_

 _mean, yes I did want to forget and yes you did help me but…Bellamy!_ " I called after him as he pushed

past me and walked out towards the beach where I saw Finn and Raven looking for us. " _We're done_

 _talking about this, in fact, after this scavenging mission is over, so are we._ " He said glaring at me as we

broke through the brush by the beach. Finn and Raven were coming up to us by the time I could even

reply to him. " _Bellamy…_ " I whispered as we were hugged by them and told how scared they were. But

all I could see was the look Bellamy was giving me.

 **[End of Chapter 3, again, I hope you enjoyed it, and please Review! :) ]**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you** **palacesteps96** **for my first review on this story! It really means a lot! I hope you continue to read this story and enjoy it :) ~ Here is Chapter 4, as always, enjoy! ~ ]**

Bellamy, Raven, Finn and I walked back up my path to the meet up tree, and that's where we took our

break. " _So, which way do we go now?_ " Raven asked, pulling out a small bag of nuts with berries and

looked up at Bellamy and me. " _We could take my path, I didn't get to go far but if we push through the_

 _rough spots in the way, we should be able to find something._ " Bellamy spoke calmly, but when he

looked at me, his eyes were swirling with anger. " _Okay…_ " Raven said noticing the exchange between us

as she pulled herself up and dusted off. " _Well I guess you should lead the way then._ " Finn said as he

looked to Bellamy and then to me. " _Is there something wrong here?_ " He asked pointing between

Bellamy and me, but Bellamy just shook his head and started walking. Raven came up second after

Bellamy and then Finn pulled me to the back where he could talk to me, but Raven kept glancing back

every now and then. " _What is going on with you two?_ " He asked his brown eyes going from my eyes to

Bellamy's back. " _Nothing, I think I made him mad._ " I said in a hushed voice. " _How could you have done_

 _that?_ " I made a face at him. " _It's Bellamy, it could be a number of things._ " I said as a smile fell on Finn's

lips. " _Right._ " He said as he put his hand on my shoulder. " _He'll calm down eventually, but I hope it's_

 _nothing serious._ " He frowned. I pulled my shoulder from under his hand now and gave him a serious

look. " _It might well be Finn, you don't get to decide who I see._ " I explained. He pressed his lips together

and then sighed. " _He's no good for you Clarke._ " I frowned at him now. " _You don't get to make that_

 _decision for me._ " After I said this, I walked up by Raven and I could hear Finn sigh loudly behind us.

" _Weapon's ready at all times, the grounders could still be out here with us._ " Bellamy commanded as we

stopped at a bunch of fallen branches blocked the path. " _Finn, help me move these_." Bellamy said

waving Finn over. Raven and I had fallen back to keep an eye on the trail behind us. " _So, I heard…Finn_

 _doesn't think Bellamy is good enough for you._ " Raven didn't look at me, just kept staring at the trees.

" _Raven, there's nothing to worry about with me, you know what happened between Finn and me, I don't_

 _have feelings for him anymore._ " Then she turned her eyes to mine. " _Yeah, that may be, but that doesn't_

 _stop him from having feelings for you._ " She turned her gaze back out again and I frowned, I don't know

what to say to that. " _Alright it's clear, let's move out._ " Bellamy called over to us. We turned and

continued following the boys, who took the lead while Raven and I took up the rear, ever so quietly.

After we walked in silence for about an hour, we were tired, hot and starved. " _Let's take a break._ " Finn

announced after looking back to Raven and me. " _Fine, but only a few minutes, we need to keep going if_

 _we want to make it back to camp before nightfall._ " Bellamy said as he threw it pack to the ground and

sat next to it. I sat down near a tree and pulled open my pack. I pulled out one of the rations I grabbed

from the food storage and started to eat while I watched Bellamy from a distance. He only looked at me

once, his face was hard and angry, I felt so guilty that I felt relief when he finally looked away. It was

about two in the afternoon when we started picking up and moving, but I could feel myself getting

tired. I pulled through it though, and walked with the group, careful not to get too far behind. Bellamy

held his hand up, signaling us to stop, and we all froze. He took a few steps forward and I quietly

approached his left, he didn't say anything but directed me with his eyes. There were two grounders,

male, in a large open field, there were a few large buildings and one old, rusted out car. We all looked

at each other and decided to wait them out, the less conflict the better. I wanted them dead, though, I

wanted to see their faces more clearly to see if my rapist was one of them. After a few minutes, they

finished gathering the kill they had made and took the meat and hide. They had left the carcass in the

middle of the field, and the guys were hoping there would still be a little meat left, we could use it back

at camp. After the grounders had cleared the field, we all quietly made our way to the closest of the

buildings. " _We search this one, then the car, its closest, and then the other two buildings._ " Bellamy said

giving me a look, it wasn't angry, it was a proud look, it said he understood what it took for me not to

kill them. I just gave him a weak smile as we pried open the doors to the building. The main floor was

still mostly intact, there were chairs and couches flipped over, tables upside down as well. There was a

huge desk in the center of the room and I ran for it instantly. The others walked through some halls and

Raven found the bathrooms, she came back out with a smile and held up rolls of toilet paper. " _Finally!_ "

She said with her grin. I opened all of the drawers but there were few items of use, pens, some paper,

then I found what Earth Skills class taught us was a stapler. With the right medicine and antibiotics,

these could be used to close large wounds. I stuffed it into my pack along with some paper and pens.

There was a first aid kid in the deep drawer on the bottom and I held it close. It was unused, I felt so

relieved. After I finished raiding the desk, I went into the bathroom with Raven. " _Here, help me open_

 _this._ " She said waving me down, and I saw she was trying to pry open the feminine hygiene product

dispenser. " _Good idea!_ " I said as I ran over to help pull it open, when it finally broke open, the pads and

tampons scattered everywhere. Raven and I picked them up to load into my pack. " _This will be such a_

 _lifesaver._ " Raven said as she finished picking up the last one. " _Definitely._ " I said as we finished and we

walked through the stalls to gather all of the rolls of toilet paper we could. We pried open the soap

dispensers and grabbed the squeezable soap bags and put those in my pack as well. We headed to the

men's room next as we heard Finn and Bellamy down the hall. Inside we gathered up the other soap

bags and then we found another dispenser. We popped it open and what came out made Raven and me

laugh so hard. " _Condoms…really?_ " Raven hooted as we started picking them up. " _Hey, with all of these_

 _supplies, I can actually set up a functional clinic, and I can pass these out whenever needed._ " I smiled at

her, and Raven nodded in agreement. We left the bathroom just as Bellamy and Finn came around their

corners of the hall. " _Find anything useful?_ " Bellamy asked as we finally joined up. " _Yes, useful stuff that I_

 _could use in a clinic._ " I said and Raven smiled knowingly. Bellamy looked between us, confused by the

exchange. " _Okay…um… well I found a few things that we could use to buff up the walls at camp, and_

 _make it better against winter._ " He said patting his pack. " _I found some blankets, water bottles, and bags_

 _of food._ " He said also patting his pack. " _This is only the first floor too, wow, this is going great, I wish we_

 _would have brought more people to help carry stuff._ " I say looking around. " _Here._ " Raven said as he

disappeared back in the bathroom and came back out with a large black garbage bag. " _We'll fill this up_

 _and that way, we can carry more._ " We all nodded in agreement and Finn went into the men's bathroom

and grabbed out the garbage bag from there too. " _Alright, second floor, careful though, we don't need_

 _any surprises._ " Bellamy said as he led us up the stairs. We cautiously made our way up the stairs, they

were metal so we wouldn't make any creaking noises. Once we saw the sign that said Level Two, we

pulled open the door and walked down the hall, there were rows and rows of square dividers with desks

in them. This must have been an office a long time ago. We each took a different side to the rows of

desks and searched through them, I told them to keep any staplers they find. I found some strange

things in the desks. Toothpaste with a tooth brush, fingernail polish, rope, and some rock climbing

equipment. " _Strange._ " I whispered to myself as I found an old picture frame with the picture still inside

it. I picked it up and looked at it, there was a skinny girl, her hair was blond like mine, she was standing

on the edge of a cliff with a guy, and she was smiling huge as he kissed her cheek. " _Oh…_ " I sighed as I set

the picture upright on the desk. I frowned and moved on to the next desk, and the next. Until we were

ready to move onto the next level, there were two more floors to search. Raven and I took the

bathroom sweeps for each floor, and we gathered all of the feminine products, condoms, soap bags, and

even the napkins for drying off the hands. While we did this, the guys took the garbage bags and filled

them almost full with the things we found in the offices on the upper levels. On the way out I stopped by

an old door that looked broken, and had the letters J-A-N-T-R on the outside. I kicked open the door and

it whipped open to reveal a custodial closet. All of their heads turned back and they raced over to see

what was going on. " _Why did you do that?_ " Bellamy asked as he had his gun pointed towards the open

door of the lobby. " _We could find good stuff in here!_ " I smiled as I walked in and looked through the

shelves. I was right, I was able to find a ton of cloths and rags, antibacterial wipes, sprays and liquid. I

grabbed all of the things I could and loaded them into Finn's emptier bag. " _Alright, we can go._ " They all

looked at me and frowned. " _What?_ " I blinked. " _We still have three more places to raid through, and_

 _we're almost already too full to carry anything else._ " Bellamy said angrily. " _So, we'll make room._ " I said

as Finn shook his head. " _For once, I agree with Bellamy, we should get rid of things that we don't really_

 _need._ " Raven took a step next to me and put her hands on her hips. " _And what is that supposed to_

 _mean?_ " They pointed to our packs, " _do we really need all of that toilet paper?_ " Finn asked. " _Well if you_

 _feel that way, you can just keep on wiping your ass with leaves._ " Raven said as she pushed past them

and walked outside, Finn sighed and followed her out. " _No Bellamy, I'm not getting rid of the feminine_

 _products and contraceptives that I have either._ " I clung to my bag protectively. Bellamy raised an

eyebrow and a smile crossed his face, but he remembered that he is angry with me and it disappeared.

" _Fine, Clarke, do whatever you feel is right, but if the time comes we need to drop some things, your stuff_

 _will have to be considered._ " He said as he walked out of the doors, I followed closely behind. The rest of

the trip was less fruitful than the first building, I did find a few more first-aid kits in the other two

buildings. Of course Raven and I scavenged the bathrooms for the condoms and feminine hygiene stuff.

The car had some leather that we were able to cut off the seats, and we found blankets, a car

emergency kit, water, and baby things in the car. We all grew quiet when we found the packages of

diapers, a full diaper bag, pacifiers, a car seat, and baby blankets. We didn't touch that stuff, it just

seemed wrong in a way. In the final building, Raven pulled me aside while the boys where following us

down the stairs and she led me into the girl's bathroom. " _I found these, we should take them right, for_

 _the clinic you're going to start, just in case?_ " She whispered as she pulled out a stock box full of

pregnancy tests. I nodded and then frowned slightly, " _there's no more room in my pack._ " I sighed. " _I'll_

 _carry them then._ " She said determined. " _Okay, well I guess we'll have a good time explaining this one_

 _the guys._ " I said throwing my glance at the door. " _Hey, I'm going to use the bathroom while we're here._ "

I said and she nodded. " _I might as well take the opportunity while it's here._ " She said setting down her

stuff by the sink and opened the doors. " _Guys, if you have to, use the bathrooms here before we head_

 _back._ " She said pulling her head back in the door and came to use the stall next to me. I heard her groan.

" _It's a good thing we found these dispensers._ " She growled. " _Did you bring your pack in the stall with_

 _you?_ " I nodded though she couldn't see me and I slid my pack under the stall to her. " _Thanks._ " " _You're_

 _welcome._ " I said as she slid the pack back to me. After we all had taken care of our bathroom needs, we

headed out and set back out to camp. " _Raven, why the hell are you carrying a huge box of pregnancy_

 _tests?_ " Bellamy asked as we marched through the trees. " _Because they could be needed._ " She replied

looking over her shoulder at Finn, who blushed. I tightened my lips together and turned my attention to

the woods. " _I really don't think they will be._ " Bellamy said as he glanced over at me and then the

exchange between Raven and Finn. " _Having a baby, purposefully or not, right now would be the_

 _dumbest thing possible._ " He said as we continued our walk. It was silent but as we started to see our

walls in the distance, Raven broke it. " _I don't think it would be the dumbest thing._ " Raven said waving off

Bellamy's look of frustration. We approached the gates and the crowd gathered as we revealed what we

found. I felt happy, because for once, a scavenging trip didn't go wrong, for the most part, and we got a

mess of things we needed. I smiled as Bellamy gave me a small one, as our people came to determine

where needed to go where. Now I can worry about getting my clinic started.

 **[That was the end of Chapter 4, I hope you liked it! Please Review, it really helps me, and I love seeing what you guys think. Next chapter may be posted later or tomorrow, we'll see. Thanks so much for reading! Xoxo! ]**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **[ Okay so here is the next chapter, thank you for the three guests that also left Reviews, sorry to disappoint one of you, but there is 'that' twist in this story. *Again sorry!* I hope you all enjoy this new chapter! Remember to please please review! Xoxo ! ]**

It's been about a month and I finally have the clinic running like I want. Turns out that Bellamy and Finn

had found some medical supplies too. I have rubbing alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, needles and thread,

the staplers, the antibacterial chemicals from the custodial closet, and a lot more. I couldn't even begin

to count how many times the feminine hygiene products came into use. Of course we had to ration

them out so we wouldn't run out so quickly. The only thing I wish we had were cold and flu medicines,

because with winter right around the corner, we'll need to keep everyone healthy. Especially since I've

been feeling like crap myself. I was treating a minor cut on the palm of one of the younger boys who

had hurt himself building up the wall when I felt it, the first wave nausea, there were more to come I'm

sure. I dropped the rag of peroxide and ran out of the dropship and behind it. I was in the middle of

emptying my stomach of its contents when I heard footsteps running behind me. " _Clarke!?_ " It was

Octavia, I was relieved it was her, I was so happy to have her back after her time with Lincoln. She pulled

back my hair for me and patted my back. " _What's going on?_ " She asked terrified. I stood up and wiped

my mouth. " _Thanks, I think I'm sick, but I don't have anything to treat it._ " I shook my head in frustration.

" _Have you talked to Monty?_ " She asked as she walked with me back to the dropship. " _Yeah, but he said_

 _that he would have to work that through all of the herbs, and for that he needed a guinea pig, and since_

 _I'm already sick, he doesn't want me to try something and it make me worse._ " Octavia nodded with me.

" _Has he found one?_ " I smiled a small smile. " _Jasper has agreed._ " She smiled and laughed with me as she

tried to lead me to a cot. " _No, Octavia I'm fine really, I have to finish up with the youngster over there._ " I

gestured my head in the direction of the boy whose eyes had widened at my running away. " _I'll take_

 _him, its fine._ " She said as she pushed my shoulders down and forced me onto the cot. I sighed but

agreed it was for the best, at this rate, no one would get fixed up if I had to keep running out. I laid

down and closed my eyes slowly, when I heard a commotion at the entrance and the flaps to the tarp

open, my eyes snapped back open. Finn and Bellamy where pushing their way through the entrance, all

the while, glaring at each other. " _Excuse me._ " Monty said as he pushed between the two and stumbled

forward with a brown root in his hand. Following him closely were both Finn and Bellamy, their eyes on

me intently. I sat up on my elbows when they all came to the side of the cot, and I sighed. " _Can I have_

 _some space?_ " " _Yeah, seriously._ " Octavia chimed in as she sent the younger kid out with his hand all

bandaged and came over to the other side of the cot. She folded her arms across her chest and glared

daggers at Finn and Bellamy. " _You two, go over there and sit, let her breathe!_ " Finn frowned but went

over to take his seat, but Bellamy moved closer instead. " _Bell…_ " Octavia warned but he just flashed her

a glare back. " _I'm not going anywhere O._ " He said, his tone final. " _Fine._ " She said as she went to go keep

Finn company. Monty held out the brown root to me with a meek smile. " _Is this going to help me?_ " I

asked hopefully. " _Yes, I've tested it on Monty after he ate a mix of herbs that made him nauseous and_

 _sick._ " I took it and observed it. " _What is it?_ " " _It's called ginger._ " He smiled as I took a bite and flinched.

" _It's bitter!_ " I puckered my face. Monty frowned, " _yeah, that's the only negative about it though._ " He

said regaining his smile. I took another bite and winced once more, but I powered through and finished

it. Bellamy pulled a bottle of water from the pack around his shoulder and handed it to me. I smiled at

him and to my surprise he smiled back. " _Thank you._ " I said as I quickly drank the whole bottle. " _Easy_

 _princess, you want to barf that all over the place too?_ " he said with a chuckle as Monty told me it would

give me relief in about five minutes, and he left saying he'd be back soon. Now Finn and Octavia made

their way over. " _What's made you so sick?_ " Finn asked his eyes full of concern. " _I'm sure it's the weather_

 _change, winter's almost here and soon we'll all be like this, we should go out and find more ginger._ " I

said trying to sit up, but Bellamy put his hand on my shoulder and gently pushed me back down. " _I'll_

 _assemble a team, according to Monty, the ginger isn't too far from camp, which is good._ " He said putting

his hand on mine. The heat spread from his hand to mine, and then the heat spread all over my body.

" _Well, I'll be back soon._ " He said after a few moments, and pulled his hand from mine, all the warmth

leaving. " _No, wait, you're leaving too?_ " I asked concerned. He stepped back towards me and smiled. " _I'll_

 _be back princess, don't worry about me, I can handle my own._ " He said as he headed off through the

tarp. " _I'll stay, and keep you company._ " Finn said as he started to pull up a chair but Octavia held up her

hand. " _Hey, someone told me that you were sick, I had to come see for myself, so you're really out of_

 _commission right now huh?_ " Raven asked as she strode towards us. Finn stood still and backed up

slightly so Raven could come close. " _Finn, can you go deal with the kids out there, they seem restless_

 _now that Bellamy's leaving and Clarke is out._ " Raven said over her shoulder to Finn. " _Uh, sure, get well_

 _soon Clarke._ " He made sure to sound as distant as possible. Once he left I laid back finally able to relax.

" _So, nausea and vomiting?_ " Raven asked folding her arms across her chest. I nodded and then she raised

an eyebrow. " _Any other symptoms?_ " She asked as I felt my stomach turn sour slightly but the nausea

stayed at bay. " _Hold on, Clarke, where do you keep the feminine stuff, I need to take care of it._ " Octavia

said standing and making a face. " _The closet over there._ " I said pointing to the closet by my makeshift

desk. " _Thanks!_ " She said as she ran over, grabbed one and left just Raven and myself. " _Well?_ " She asked

once more. " _Common cold and flu symptoms, body ache, fever, nothing too crazy._ " Raven narrowed her

eyes in thought. " _Clarke, when was the last time you needed the feminine stuff?_ " Raven asked. " _I'm not_

 _sure, but I'm sure it was a few weeks ago._ " I could hear the uncertainty in my own voice, and I could tell

Raven heard it too. She walked over to the dropship door where the tent covered and stuck her head

out. She came back over to me, I was so confused as to what she was doing at first, and then it hit me.

" _No Raven, I know what you're thinking now._ " I said shaking my head as she walked over to my desk and

pulled open the large drawer where that stock box of unused pregnancy tests sat. She pulled out a box,

each held two, then she closed the door and came back over to me, her hand holding out the box. " _I'll_

 _guard you, but you need to go take these._ " I've never heard her talk this soft before. I pushed the boxes

back towards her. " _No, Raven, I don't._ " I said as she sighed. " _Just do it for me then, ease my mind?_ " She

asked as she held it back out for me. I glared at her as I sat up slowly and snatched the box from her

hand and marched towards the doors. She walked beside me and helped me out, effectively hiding the

box in my hand with her body as it looked to all the others as if she was just helping me to the restroom.

She stopped as we made our way to the trees we've been using and then she turned around and walked

a few feet away. " _Thanks for the privacy._ " I mumbled as I went behind the trees and opened the box, I

knew I wasn't pregnant, but for some reason, just holding these sticks in my hand, my heart was

thumping against my chest. After I've used the bathroom and taken the tests, putting the caps back on, I

used the roll of toilet paper and wrapped them up, holding them flat though. I walked over to Raven and

I handed her the wrapped up tests. She took them and looked at me as I washed my hands using some

water and the soap we brought back. After we walked back through the door in the dropship, Octavia

was sitting in the chair by my empty cot, I paled. " _Where did you guys go?_ " She asked concerned as she

came over and drug me back to the cot. " _I…_ " I stammered so Raven stepped in. " _She needed to use the_

 _bathroom, so I took her._ " Raven held the tests behind her back, but Octavia's not stupid. " _What's that?_ "

She said walking around Raven who spun around as well. Raven tried to come up with something but I

interrupted her. " _They're pregnancy tests Octavia._ " I sighed out and Octavia froze, she looked around

Raven to me. " _You're pregnant?!_ " She almost yelled. " _Shhh!_ " Raven shushed harshly as she set them

down on the stand next to my cot. " _We'll know in about a minute._ " Raven said as Octavia just stood still.

" _When…who?_ " She demanded. " _It was only once, about a month or so ago…_ " I trailed off. " _With_ _ **who**_ _?_ "

Octavia grew impatient, and I could see it click in Raven's eyes. " _Oh my god._ " She whispered. " _Who?!_ "

Octavia shouted now. " _It's Bellamy._ " I said causing a deafening silence to fall amongst us. " _What about_

 _me?_ " I heard Bellamy's voice echo through the silent dropship and my heart seized in my chest. I was

silent but he waked over to where Raven, Octavia and I were huddled. " _What?_ " He asked as he gazed

down. " _Bellamy I…_ " Raven's watch beeped and she looked to me. " _It's time._ " She whispered. " _Time for_

 _what?_ " Bellamy was so confused, Octavia took his hand and her lip quivered slightly. " _Okay, you guys_

 _are starting to scare me, what is going on?!_ " He growled out. I pulled the tests out from the toilet paper

and my heart dropped into my stomach. He looked from me to the tests in my hand, and back at me.

" _I'm pregnant, Bellamy._ " His eyes widened and his nostril's flared, he backed up slightly but then tensed.

" _You're what?_ " He blinked and his voice was deathly low. " _I'm…_ " " _I heard you!_ " He shouted now.

" _Bell…_ " Octavia whispered to him, but he pulled away. " _How could this of happened…oh, no that one_

 _time?!_ " He closed his eyes tightly and his hands balled into fists at his sides. " _Guys, could you give us a_

 _minute?_ " I asked looking at Raven and Octavia, they both nodded and Octavia left a lingering hand on

Bellamy's shoulder before she left the dropship too. When he opened his eyes again he was seething,

and I bit my lip, anxiously waiting to see what he'd say. " _What the hell Clarke?!_ " He shouted. " _I didn't do_

 _this on purpose!_ " I shouted back. He slumped down in a chair and let his head fall in his hands, I knelt

down beside him and put my hand on his back. He jerked back slightly and looked up at me, his eyes

were watering. " _What are we going to do?_ " He asked holding back his emotions. " _It's going to be okay,_

 _Bell._ " I whispered putting my hand his cheek. " _How Clarke?_ " He asked in disbelief. " _I don't have to have_

 _this baby._ " He frowned at my words and he went from scared to angry as he stood. I stood too and he

clenched his jaw, I could see it through his face. " _How could you say that?_ " He asked almost shouting

again. " _Because of what you said to Raven on our scavenging mission._ " I said in a hushed tone. " _What_

 _did I say?_ " He asked blinking now. " _You said that anyone either purposefully or not, who got pregnant_

 _where stupid, or that they shouldn't do it._ " He pressed his lips together in thought and he stepped

forward and put his hands on my arms. " _Clarke, that was different._ " I shrugged out of his hold and

backed up a step. " _No, it's not Bellamy, this didn't happen purposefully, it was an accident._ " He stepped

closer, once more filling the gap between us. " _Well, this is my child, obviously I'm going to change how I_

 _feel about the situation._ " He said frustrated. " _But if you take your emotions out of it Bell, it's a stupid_

 _idea, even the thought…_ " I said closing my eyes. " _How can I take my emotions out of it, when you're_

 _carrying_ _ **my**_ _child!?_ " His brow furrowed. " _You'll just have to try, I'm going to Monty to see if he has any_

 _or if we can find any herbs that can fix this._ " I said walking past him, I was surprised when he grabbed

my arm and pulled me back towards him. " _Clarke, don't you even think about it, you decided you would_

 _use me to forget on your own, don't decide this for both of us either._ " He said, his eyes pleading. I gave

in, I couldn't help it, his eyes were too big, too brown, and for the first time, desperate. I sighed and

pulled my arm from his grip. " _Fine, you have a few days to get used to this, and if you don't come up_

 _with a solution that could work, I will do what I see fit._ " I said as I quickly left the dropship before he

gave me another look that would change my mind.

 **[End of Chapter 5, I hope you like it, I was always planning on taking the story this way, with Clarke getting pregnant, but unsure how to proceed with it, review your opinions! They are appreciated so much! Xoxo, SweetDreams.]**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 **[So, here is Chapter 6, I know it's been a few days, I'm sorry. Anyway, please review and enjoy! Xoxo]**

Bellamy came pushing through my tent entrance and his eyes were furious, he came over to me, his lips

were pressed into a hard line. " _Clarke, what is this I heard you went to Monty to see if there were any_

 _herbs you could use to terminate?_ " He half yelled. I turned to face him and folded my arms across my

chest with an eyebrow raised. " _You just happen to hear, right after I go to Monty?_ " I ask glaring back.

" _Monty told me Clarke! He thinks you're being irrational and hasty in this decision, a decision we agreed_

 _we would make together._ " He said through his teeth. " _I needed to know if he had herbs or if I had to go_

 _get them, the clocks ticking and soon enough I will be out of time to make a choice at all._ " I threw my

hands up in frustration. " _And it's none of his business if I'm being 'hasty' or 'irrational'._ " I said sitting

grabbing my knife and gun off of the ground. " _Is it my business?_ " I turned to see Bellamy now looking at

me, his tone of voice had dropped and it was barely above a whisper as he walked over and placed his

hand on my abdomen. " _Because this is my baby too Clarke._ " His eyes were searching mine, and I could

feel my heart melting. I shook his look from my mind and moved away from him as I threw my gun over

my shoulder. " _Yes, it's your business, it's your baby, but you didn't mean for this to happen, you were_

 _even mad about the sex that created it._ " I said as he looked at me and then the gun across my back.

" _Where are you going?_ " I sighed at his question and looked around for my bag. " _I'm going out, gathering_

 _a few things with the hunting party._ " His eyes narrowed as he stepped closer into my personal space

once more. He placed his hand gently on my hip, and he rested it there. " _Clarke, I was mad about you_

 _using me, not the sex itself, that I would do again, but you used me and you never even gave me a_

 _chance to even offer up my services to help you._ " He smiled a little and spoke again as his thumb traced a

line over my belly. " _Clarke, I know you are scared about the future, or you think you're just being_

 _practical, but I want to keep this baby, and raise it, with you, circumstances be damned, we'll figure out a_

 _way when the time comes, my mother did, and we can too._ " He seemed so sure of himself…of me…of us.

But the rational part of my brain stepped forward and I shook my delusion of a happy family away. " _Your_

 _mom didn't figure out a way Bellamy…Octavia was kept under the floor, and hidden away in your home_

 _pod for all of her life, what will we do with our child, keep it locked away in the dropship?_ " I said tired.

" _Maybe, if it came to that, yes._ " His eyes shimmered with want and hope. I closed my eyes and suddenly

felt overwhelmingly exhausted. " _I will think about this, give me until tomorrow night, some space, and_

 _we'll talk then._ " I said dropping the gun back to the ground and I laid down. " _Alright, think about it,_

 _please_." He said before he left my tent. I held my head and just fought against what I wanted and what

was reality. Could we really raise a child, here on the ground? What about the grounders, and the other

predator's out there? I was in the middle of thinking when I heard someone outside of my tent. I sat up

slightly and tried to make out the person's shadow that lingered on the side of the tent. " _Clarke, it's_

 _Raven, can I come in?_ " " _Sure Raven._ " She stepped in through the tent and came over sitting on the end

of my cot. She looked at me, her eyes were soft, as was the rest of her face. " _Clarke, I know it's such a_

 _huge decision, have you made any headway on which one you want to make?_ " She asked almost

sensitively. " _I'm not going to break Raven, you can be your normal self, I'm pregnant, not dying._ " I said

with a laugh, but still not able to find the humor in this at all. " _Well, okay, look Clarke, I know I was all_

 _happy talking about maybe starting a family soon, but that was just fantasy._ " She started and I pulled

my knees up to my chest and just listened. " _The grounders are still a huge threat, food is still scarce,_

 _barely enough to feed half of us, let alone a pregnant one of us._ " She paused looking me over once. " _I_

 _just think that right now, you should terminate, you can always do this again when you're more ready,_

 _when you are safer._ " She said as she stood now pacing. " _Thanks Raven, I needed to hear a little bit of_

 _reality to help me._ " I said as I stood up to hug her and then she left. She was right, I could have another

baby later, at a better time. I went back over to my cot and laid down for the night, in some pitiful

attempt to get some sleep. I was awoken to Octavia sitting down right behind me. I don't think she knew

I was awake yet, because I felt her very timidly slide her hand over my stomach. She left it there for a

good minute before she withdrew her hand and I started to stir. She stood up and I rolled over and

blinked my eyes at her a few times before sitting up fully. " _Hello Octavia._ " I smiled at her as I yawned.

" _Clarke._ " She said as she kept looking from my face to my stomach. " _I can't believe you're really_

 _pregnant._ " She said shaking her head. " _I know, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it myself._ " I said

as I swung my legs down and slipped my boots back on. " _Can we go for a walk, we'll grab a snack and_

 _drink first?_ " She slightly smiled and nodded her head towards the tent opening. " _Sure, Octavia._ " I smiled

back at her and grabbed my gun and threw it over my shoulder. We walked out to the middle of camp

and she handed me a cup of water, which I gladly drank it down, and she got me another. " _Thanks, I_

 _needed that._ " I smiled at her and wiped my lips. She just smiled again and she handed me a small bag of

food rations, I shoved it in my jacket pocket. We walked towards the bathroom area and when people

stopped staring, she pulled me to the secret exit that not many of us knew about. We pushed through

the brush and popped out by some tall trees. " _Now that it's just us, I want to talk to you about…the_

 _baby._ " She said as we walked along her warn path away from camp. " _Okay Octavia, what do you want to_

 _discuss?_ " I asked as I followed her. She spun around and glared a little, her nose flared out like Bellamy's

does, and I felt my heart ache just slightly. " _That's just it Clarke, I don't want to **discuss** anything, this _

_isn't a business deal, or a negotiation, this is your child's life. I want to talk about it._ " She yelled out

angrily and then turned back around and I silently followed her for a little while longer before a snap of

a branch broke it. We both looked up and then relief hit when Lincoln came out from his hiding spot,

and Octavia ran up to him wrapping her arms around his shoulders. " _You brought me to see Lincoln?_ " I

asked raising an eyebrow. " _Yes, I want to talk to you first, and then have you talk to Lincoln._ " She said as

she patted Lincolns arm and he led us to his little hideaway. He left us alone to stand watch outside

while Octavia set me down by his small fire and she then smiled. " _Okay Clarke, let's talk about that_

 _baby, my little niece or nephew._ " She said placing her hands on her hips. I looked at her silently as she

started to talk, " _Bellamy raised me, for my whole life, ever since I was born, he told me mother told him,_

 _that I was his responsibility now, and Clarke, he took care of me, the best he could, and he gave it his all,_

 _his everything. I know that's what he'll do with this baby if you give him a chance, this isn't the Ark, and_

 _you won't have to hide your baby away. Besides, it won't just be you and Bell, you'll have me, Lincoln,_

 _maybe even Raven._ " She said with a genuine smile. " _Jasper, and I know Monty will change his views,_

 _Clarke you just have to have hope, and faith in yourself, and the people who want to help you._ " She

sighed and stood up, " _I'm giving the floor to Lincoln now, and after this, I'll walk with you back to camp,_

 _and then once you've gotten all of the points, and only then, make your decision._ " She said as she gave

me a hug and then left as Lincoln came in. He said nothing at first, but handed me a vial, it was a slightly

green liquid and I looked at it quizzically. " _For the baby._ " He said as he sat down now and looked at me.

" _Clarke, I know you're getting thrown different ways, keep it, don't keep it, but please, don't let my_

 _people be the reason you choose either. My people are ruthless, that is true, but we would never hurt_

 _infants or children, we don't like to separate mother and child, we're not monsters. Know that your child_

 _will be safe, this might be just the thing to help draw up a truce between your people and mine._ " I

blinked a few times at his words, and then I picked up a stick and started to draw little swirls in the dirt.

" _Truce?_ " I asked blinking. " _Yes, truce, if you have this child, my people will see that you are trying to_

 _make a home, and not take ours, we would never attack a village with women and children._ " He said as

he watched me with the stick. " _Clarke, I'm just wanting to give you all of the facts, you could still choose_

 _not to have this child, if that is what you really wish, but you could also choose to keep it as well. I just_

 _wanted to let you know, that my people won't be a concern to your child. I've said all I needed to say, I'll_

 _let Octavia know you're ready to be taken back._ " He said as he walked past me, and I grabbed his arm.

" _I've not yet made my choice Lincoln, but I would like to have both choices in front of me when I decide._ "

He nodded, knowing what I wanted. He reached down in his bag and pulled out a vial that was slightly

blue, but mostly pale in color. " _This will terminate your pregnancy, if that is what you wish, may you be_

 _at peace with whatever choice you make Clarke._ " He said as he placed it in my hand and folded my hand

over it. I nodded and thanked him as he pulled Octavia back in and she waved me to the entrance. " _We_

 _got to go, before anyone notices you're missing._ " She said as she pulled me along through the trees. She

didn't say anything else the way back, and when she slipped me inside the secret passage, we heard

commotion inside. " _Stay here._ " Octavia whispered as she ran out to see what was going on. I heard

Bellamy's panicked voice roar out. " _Octavia, have you seen Clarke, no one has seen her except with you_

 _last, she's missing and I'm about to go out looking for her with all of the guards here!_ " He shouted as he

walked towards her. " _Bell she's fine, I'll get her for you._ " I could hear the fear in his voice, and then the

relief. " _No, take me to her._ " Octavia came walking back as I pulled myself out of the hole, and Bellamy

came over and wrapped his arms around me tightly. " _I thought something had happened to you_

 _princess._ " He whispered into my hair as he held me. " _I'm fine Bellamy._ " I said as he let go. He looked me

up and down as he walked me back into camp, all eyes were on me. " _She's safe, everyone I'm sorry for_

 _the confusion, please, go back to whatever you were doing._ " Bellamy ordered as we walked into his tent.

Octavia left before Bellamy could grab her, and so it was just him and me. " _So, you said to talk to you_

 _today._ " He said as he walked over to his cot and reached out underneath it. " _I went somewhere today._ " I

started but stopped when he pulled out a huge bag and leaned against it. " _Me too._ " He said with a smile,

I wish it would stay on his face forever. " _Bellamy, what's this?_ " I asked approaching the bag. " _Look for_

 _yourself._ " He said as I pulled open the bag and gasped at the contents. " _Is this all of the baby stuff from_

 _the car from our last mission?_ " I asked blinking up at him, his grin was still wider than ever. " _You bet,_

 _there's a ton of stuff here, pacifiers, diapers, diaper cream, a diaper bag, bottles, blankets, toys and_

 _more._ " He said as he pulled me to face him now. " _Clarke, we can do this, I can do this._ " He said as he

pulled my hands into his, and my whole body became heated, I blushed staring up into his brown eyes,

he was pleading with me for this. I bit my lip and leaned up on my toes and whispered into his ear, " _Give_

 _me one more day._ "

 **[That's the end of Chapter 6! Rate, review, ect! Next Chap is from Bellamy's POV, so we'll get to see what's going on in his head. Love you all, thank you for reading what I'm writing! Xoxo]**


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